I stalk an awful lot of blogs. Mainly adoption ones with tons of kids because that is where I would like to be, although as a stay at home wife married to a teacher we will see how many "tons" actually is.
Anyway, one of the biggest pet peeves that I have been noticing that other mothers complain about (even those with adopted kids who have the perspective of how awesome it is), is when people say to them in the store "boy, you have your hands full."
I can't reach my head around why in the world that is annoying. I get this phrase all.the.time.
Everywhere I go. Sometimes it's because I literally do have my hands full and am carrying Hannah and Olivia at the same time. I need to learn to quit depending on Hannah walking because as soon as I don't bring a double stroller and am carrying Olivia I hear those sweet little words "Mama, hold me" and I see tiny Hannah reaching for me.
As I've said before, I'm lucky my girls are small because it's really not that hard to carry them both. In fact I heard an older couple at the mall the other day say behind my back "wow, she carrying both of them. She must have strong arms. "
I don't.
I digress. When people tell me I must have my hands full. I love it. I really really do. They ask me how far apart my girls are. When I say 15 months they tell me that must be hard. And it is, but is it that much easier if they are three years apart? I think parenting is hard no matter how far apart kids are. And mothers shopping with one kid have their hands full, amen?
I love having my hands full (most of the time). And I'm going to love it when they are more independent (most of the time).
One last thing, among adopted parents, one thing that seems to be a common annoyance is when they are asked "where are they from/are they sisters" assuming there are more than one in a family.
It's really easy to answer those questions, "The States and yes."
I'm feeling like mothers with big families and/or adopted kids need to embrace this. Amen?
6 comments:
Amen! I love having my hands full, too...and get it EVERy time we go anywhere. I like to say we have four hands so there's still room for more. :) People are just empathetic and want to relate. I'm sure I'll say the same thing soon!
I love that I do have my hands full. But sometimes I get the sense that the people that say it are saying it with a teensy bit of a negative tone, like wow, your kids are acting up or you cant control them. but I think that's my insecurity :) most often I think other people say it to relate, and to talk to another person, get a smile, etc. and when I remember that, I just laugh and say, I sure do!!! :)
I feel like people say it in a negative tone when one is crying or going the other way and I am by myself. When they say it when both my husband and I are out, its more in a happy tone and that's so cool you have twins. So now, it doesn't bother me. I just say yes I do. Then they usually, say, "they are so cute" and then I say "thanks". Then I walk on. But I guess when they were little, I was so exhausted , i just would be like, "leave me alone, I am trying to carry both car seats!" LOL!
I get the hands full comment all the time and I like it. Doesn't annoy me at all. I take it as a compliment, actually. Like, wow, you've got your hands full and you're actually doing it...making it work (even if one kid is screaming!). I like your perspective. :)
Love this post...love your frankness and your honesty. And yes, I couldn't agree more...what a blessing to have our "hands full"! And although there are always trying moments, days, months, phases, etc...i try to keep it in perspective. What a JOY and GIFT it is to raise little ones! Your girls are precious, and they have a wonderful mommy :)
people say i have my hands with JUST makenna!
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