Everything We Need to Know.....

I've had a few people contact me through this blog asking me questions about infertility and adoption. I've also had people in real life ask me questions about infertility and adoption. And I've had people say, I know someone who is dealing with infertility, can I give them your email address?
So I will address what Matt and I have learned through this whole journey (although this list will be ever-changing and growing), and I will answer the adoption questions I am asked the most.

Some of the things we have learned....
1. God gives us pain in order to reveal our hearts. Not to test us or destroy us, but uncover what is already in our hearts. Turns out I'm bitter and controlling.
2. God sometimes prolongs our pain because He has the perfect blessing waiting for us.
3. His timing is better than our timing. Hannah was worth the wait and I'll say it a million times.
4. God is still good. We are on year 5 of infertility. The Lord gives and takes away. Blessed be His name.
5. Sometimes He uses circumstances to remind us we are not in control. My daily reminder is my infertility. Sometimes He uses an accidental pregnancy. Sometimes a lost job. Sometimes the death of a loved one. The theme through it all is that our grasp of control is only an illusion.
6. We are just stewards of the Lord's money. My husband is a 6th year teacher and I hardly work at all. We can afford adoption because we have set every penny we have before the Lord as His money.
7. We have a lot of rich friends. They get to conceive for free. We are the not rich ones. We get to adopt. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair, but the blessing of adoption far outweighs the cost.
8. The joy we find in our adoption of Hannah doesn't compare to the joy the Lord finds in His adoption of us.

Frequently asked questions...
Q. Isn't adoption expensive?
A. Yes. It was almost $17,000. But don't let that deter you. Lay your money at God's feet and see what miracles He can perform.

Q. Why didn't you do IVF?
A. Whoa, that is a personal question! I am not comfortable expressing my opinion about this in such a public forum. I am more than willing to answer this privately.

Q. How long were you trying to get pregnant before adopting?
A. We were trying 3.5 years before we started the homestudy process.

Q. How did you know you were ready to start the adoption process?
A. We took a step of faith, we were scared and unsure. We knew the Lord would stop it if He wanted to.

Q. If I adopt, will I love this child as much as I would love a biological child? What if I don't think he/she is cute?
A. Both very valid questions. Yes, you will love an adopted child as much as you have the capacity to love a child. Apparently my capacity is huge:)
You will think your child is beautiful. All parents do. And there are some ugly kids out there.

Q. I know someone who adopted and then got pregnant!
A. That was not a question, and please, never let that sentence come out of your mouth ever again. That is not helpful to the infertile.

Q. So seriously, how can I afford adoption?
A. Tighten your belts ladies. You can do it. And contact www.lifesongfororphans.org or www.showhope.org. We have made major sacrifices. Worth it.

Q. When are you going to adopt again?
A. We are finalizing all the necessary paperwork for our 2nd homestudy. We are just waiting on the Lord's timing to present us with a second baby. (Patience Abby, patience!)

Q. How are you going to afford adoption the 2nd time in 2 years?
A. We don't know.

Q. How did Hannah get so darn cute?
A. We hit the jackpot.