Just venting a bit

I've spent most of the day Friday, Sunday and today getting things around to apply for some loans/grants with three different organizations....
http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/
http://www.abbafund.org/
http://www.showhope.org/

I know these people need this information but let me just tell you what a pain it is to answer 25 different essay questions about my spiritual life, get my pastor to write three different recommendations, get my social worker to write three different assurances that our homestudy is up to date (even though the date is on the front of our homestudy!!!), find all our tax information for the past two years, a picture of us, our drivers licenses scanned, fill out our monthly and annual budget, our cash flow information, our personal liabilities, our adoption costs, and get it all packaged together to go to three different places. NONE of which can process anything faster than 4-6 weeks (with ShowHope processing things in four MONTHS).
I can see how these things would be fine for international adoptions that take a while but for some reason, Matt and I get babies in a matter of days, not months!
And in the end we might not even get this baby. Which, for the recod, would be a disappointment, but we would be fine. We would understand our next baby is out there somewhere.
I've said several times if the purpose of this is just as a kick in the pants to get these applications done then that's fine. Maybe in a few months we'll have some grants so we'll be better able to afford it.
I'm grateful to these companies, I'm just feeling a tad overwhelmed, scared, frustrated and having a hard time remembering to trust in the Lord.
The fax machine didn't work this morning when I tried to fax stuff and in my human-ness, saw it as a "bad sign" that this wasn't our baby. The Lord doesn't work that way.
Maybe I just need a nap.