This isn't very well thought out, what I'm about to say, but I am going to put it out there. Hoping that it'll make sense.
I feel guilty that we are adopting domestically.
I read blogs of people adopting internationally and how they get comments from people "Why don't you adopt locally, so many kids around here need a home too."
I totally agree with that statement. There is obviously a need for domestic adoptions.
But from what I am reading, international adoption is a tough road. From beginning of the homestudy to forever.
I don't know the road the Lord has for us, but I'm pretty sure it won't include my children recovering from abandonment, neglect, fear, or dirty orphanges.
My girls probably won't have trouble forming bonds. They don't have to learn a new language. They are loved by two parents from the moment they exit the womb. They certainly don't have to move to a new country.
I just want you to know, if you are adopting internationally, I pray for you. You are amazing.
4 comments:
There are definitely two sides to this. Some folks think domestic adoption is too risky, but then others lament about all the kids in foster care that need families right here in the US and think no one should go the international route. I can see points from both sides. There ARE children in the US that needs homes. But there ARE also children in other countries that need homes. So does origin really matter in the end, as long as a child is becoming part of a family? You are opening your heart and your home to a child. A child I totally believe God has picked specifically for you. You are following the path you think God is leading you on. So what is there to feel guilty about? As long as you are following Him, it's all good. God calls us all to different paths.
I so enjoy reading your blog Abby. I like this post for so many reasons. You shouldn't feel guilty, all of our paths are determined by God. I can't even count how many times my hubby and I thought we would adopt domestically, but God had other plans...his are always better and perfect aren't they? I also get the comments too on why we don't adopt in the U.S., our own children in the U.S., and I just like to say...They are ALL God's children and they all deserve Love. We go where he leads....
Carrie (working on #3 internationally) :)
www.itsgodsgospel.blogspot.com
www.hiswillandgrace.blogspot.com
P.S.-Your girls are completely adorable!
As a mama adopting #2 internationally who has read plenty of blogs, I think this is the first time I've a domestic adoption with these thoughts. All children are equally deserving of parents and healthy homes no matter where they live. They didn't choose what country or situation that they were born into, and they all deserve to be in a family where they can feel secure with have shelter, food, love, and educational opportunities. AND it would be best if they didn't have to be adopted, AND it would be best if they could be adopted by families within their culture. I think of our family as 3rd best. Best would have been able to stay with the family, 2nd best adopted within birth culture, and here we are... 3rd best.
I pray for foster care families and families adopting older children domestically AND internationally. There's the tough road... with children who have suffered abuse, neglect, and have been shuffled around from place to place. I also pray for foster and adoptive families who's children suffer from fetal alcohol ... suffering a lifetime of neurological and mental health issues.
Just wanted to clarify. Editing my previous post! :)
Meant to write: I think this is the first time I've seen a domestic adoptive mama write that she felt guilty for adopting domestically.
Your road isn't so easy either, mama. Give yourself some more credit. :)
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