Interview Day!

I participated in an open adoption forum interview project, linked here if you would like to read them all (I would if I had time!).

I was paired with Sarah from My Little Lantern and the funny thing is, that we live only an hour apart and we had already been reading each other's blogs, so funny!

We even had a playdate at ChickfilA today! We managed to take a picture too, I am hoping she uploads it, but I know for sure both of my kiddos did not have nice faces in the pictures. So hopefully the other three of us are smiling.

I asked Sarah a lot of questions and she was kind enough to answer all of them. Here goes...

What is your name, your husbands name and your child(rens) name(s)?
Kevin Andrew, Sarah Ann, and Hannah Claire

What is your husband's job?
Domestic engineer (aka stay at home dad)

What is your job? Do you enjoy it?
I’m a pharmacist with CVS/pharmacy in (location withheld).  I’ve worked there since March of 2005… except for a brief stint working at Target Southwest in the middle of (another location withheld) in 2010, and then decided to go back to my old position.  I enjoy it most days.  I enjoyed being a pharmacist much more right out of school when I worked for Marsh Pharmacies in Muncie my first five years out of school.

Why did you decide to adopt?
We waited until 2005 to try to start a family.  I wanted to adopt a toddler before we started trying to conceive, as I wasn’t interested in conceiving a child.  Kevin and I weren’t on the same page.  His sister was adopted domestically as an infant, and he had some issues to resolve.  Mostly, he felt that his parents gave his sister more attention because she was adopted.  After growing up and reflecting upon it, she was treated differently because she was the only girl, and because she shared a love of sports with her father.  Kevin and his brother were not interested in participating in sports.  We stopped birth control and tried to conceive for about a year.  We then decided that we did not wish to explore the cause of our fertility issues and were not interested in fertility treatments.  Kevin agreed to go to an adoption interest meeting with FTIA.  Kevin fell in love with a little girl from Guatemala and the story her parents told the audience about how they became a family.  He was now ready to explore our adoption options.

Why did you decide to adopt from Taiwan?
We decided upon international for several reasons.  We wanted to participate in an adoption program where we waited in a queue to be matched with a child rather than waiting for birth parents to choose to place with us.  We didn’t want to wait for years and years, and be rejected over and over.  We were also very afraid of a failed adoption experience where a birth mother chose us, we paid thousands of dollars to help her with a pregnancy, and then she changed her mind and decided to parent.  We worried that we couldn’t take that emotional roller coaster, and worried that a failed adoption would deplete the funds we needed to complete a successful adoption.We first chose China, but quickly learned that we would have to wait until I turned 30 to start.  Also, the rules for adopting from China were most likely going to change soon, and we would not be eligible because we didn’t have quite enough net worth and a rumored BMI requirement may exclude us from adopting.  The wait for NSN infants was growing rapidly and the referrals were declining, so we decided to explore other options. I did a lot of online reading, decided to explore Taiwan, and emailed several agencies, and then found one that we qualified for, had good ethics, and reasonable fees.  We liked adopting from Taiwan because we would most likely have lots of information regarding the health and social history of a child we were referred, and it was possible to have birth family contact.

Did you request a little girl the first time? Why or why not?
When Kevin and I were getting engaged, I asked him if we ever had a daughter… if we could name her Hannah.  At that time I was training for a job with a young woman named Hannah and I loved saying her name.  Something drew me into that name.  Kevin readily agreed, and admitted that he had always liked that name.  When researching China and Taiwan adoptions, we found out that “han” referred to the Han people or being Chinese, and the suffix “-na” referred to being female.  So literally, Han-na could be translated into a meaning of “Chinese girl.”  We felt like we had a daughter out there, somewhere, and we just had to find her. If I had to do this all over again… which WE ARE, I would not gender request, because I understand the problems that it creates in adoptions, and that females are much more highly requested than boys, so that boys linger in orphanages and foster homes longer than girls just because they are male.  This time, we’ll just leave it up to God.

Did you request a boy this second time? Why or why not?
We did not gender request for our second adoption.  See previous comment as to why, but we understood that we were much more likely to be matched with a boy because our agency allows gender selection, and there are many many more families waiting in line for girls.

How did Hannah adjust to her new surroundings in the States? And her new surroundings in her new house with new parents? Any interesting stories about this?
Hannah adjusted very well.  The day we picked her up she was attention seeking and did not cry.  She was a little ham and was exploring us. But later that night in the dark of the hotel room, she didn’t sleep well, awakening several times.  I had placed the roll away crib right next to our bed, and I patted her back to sleep each time she started to fuss.  Back at home, we stayed inside and didn’t leave the house much for the next three weeks to work on bonding… and because it was a bitterly cold January.  She attached more quickly to me than to Kevin, and Kevin didn’t feel that she really liked him until I convinced him to take her out for a day away from me and have fun together one-on-one.  That day caused her to understand that she could depend on him, and they had a great time.  They went to (the mall) and Daddy had her first birthday photos taken all by himself.

Was there anything most suprising about your first adoption in general?
I had no idea that I would become so wrapped up in learning everything I can about Taiwan.  Groups of people, history, customs, clothing, natural landscapes, language, foods, etc.

When do you think you will be able to bring your son home?
I’m anticipating 7-9 more months, but it could be as short as four.  I pray that we can travel before summer.  Summers in tropical southern Taiwan are hot hot hot.

What special meanings to their names have?
See previous comment for the special meaning of Hannah.  Claire is Kevin’s maternal grandfather’s name.  Ching-Ling is Hannah’s birth name given to her by her maternal grandmother.  It means “surprise celebration” or “worthy of celebration,” which she certainly is.  Hannah was born 3 months early weighing only 2.6 pounds, thus she was literally a surprise celebration!

What are you going to give to Hannah for Christmas?
She’s asking Santa for only one thing, a baby doll with no hair (Editor's note: at our playdate today I found out that a doll with no hair meant a newborn. How adorable is that?).  She saw this baby doll at the American Girl store in Chicago.

What are you hoping someone buys you for Christmas?
All I want is approval to adopt this lil’ dude in Taiwan.  Well, maybe a purse from Thirty-One that I’ve been eyeing to replace my ratty purse would be nice. (Editor's note: hint, hint Kevin).

How has your church played a roll in supporting your adoption?
Not much.  While waiting to adopt Hannah we fell away from our church, the one that I grew up in, for several reasons.  We’ve explored a few other churches but never found one that was right.  It’s pretty sad.  When I visit two sets of family friends that don’t live in our town and I go to church with them… I love their churches!  The four hour commute to church just wouldn’t work out very well.

What would you like people to know about adoption?
When people say that they’re not sure that they could love an adopted child “like their own,” I look at them like they have two heads.  It doesn’t register with me.  I can’t understand that.  "By adopting a child and helping them reach their potential, they help us reach ours. An adopted child is not an unwanted child; to the contrary. They are a child who was searched for, prayed for, cried for, begged for; received by arms that ached, making empty hearts full. Love is meant to be shared." - Author unknown
I look at my daughter and think of her birth mother each and every day, giving thanks that she chose to give her life.  I can’t imagine a world without my daughter. (Editor's note: ditto that.)


Thanks for reading everyone! Now go put her blog into your google reader and pray alongside her as they embark on another adoption and parenting Taiwanese children!

Edited to add: here is her interview with me. Like she said on her blog, we were both very honest, possibly more so than we normally are, so please be kind if you want to comment or email.