UPDATE: I wrote this yesterday (Wednesday), but wanted to give myself time to re-read it today once I was less emotional to make sure it was respectful. I'm still emotional....
Remember this post from last February?
This story is much more complex. But it ends the same.
It involves a trip last Thursday the 30th with the girls to Evansville (11 hours in the car in one day!) to meet with a birthmom, Miss D. She wasn't due until Sept 9th, but was already contracting.
After a heartwrenching, insightful, mature and surprisingly unawkward two hour meeting (except for the part where Hannah had a huge accident in her underwear and all over her dress), we were excited that she was confident in her decision to choose us to parent her unborn little boy.
We were still cautious emotionally (well, as cautious as possible, excitment still creeps in unfortunately). We were told she could go into labor any day.
I folded cloth diapers and found my bottles.
We picked a name.
We received the news this afternoon that she had had an emergency C-section yesterday. Her (unsupportive) dad drove down from Chicago with a carseat, baby supplies and promises.
I'm selfishly heartbroken for myself and for Matt.
Miss D has her head on straight. She will make an excellent mom. Her life won't be easy, and neither will her little boy's. But hopefully she'll make it. She wants to be a nurse in the Navy and Matt and I will pray every time we remember her that she makes it to the Navy and is the best nurse ever.
Emotionally, I'm not sure how much more of this I'm up for. Call me dramatic, this is hard.
When peace like a river attendeth my soul,
When sorrows like sea billows roll.
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul!
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
We are so thankful for our family. We are so thankful for our girls. We are so thankful for ice cream and NFL game night. And Blue Moon.
5 comments:
I'm sorry. Your family is in my prayers.
This made my heart literally ache. Praying this is the last post you have to write with that title.
I'm so sorry. You both seem like great parents, and I pray you are blessed with another sweet baby soon.
Ugh. I'm sorry. It is HARD. It's like a miscarriage. You have hopes and dreams and "poof" all gone... Just temporarily because as you know God has your child picked out for you and that wasn't it. He said "not yet" the one I have for you is even better... be patient my dear child. You will be amazed when you see who I have chosen for you. Prayers while you recover and wait yet again.
Praying for your hearts. So sorry, guys. That stinks.
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