The post I didn't want to write - Take III

A baby boy was born yesterday. Against all efforts to not hope, we did. We were very sad when we learned this morning he was not to be ours. We have met the birthmom twice, one time was yesterday morning at the hospital during her induction.
She knew we were pregnant and still wanted to meet us (a miracle). After she met us she still wanted to proceed being matched with us (a miracle). We hoped and hoped and hoped this one was it. The baby was an unknown gender and when we found out last night it was a boy, we *really* hoped this one was it. I think I slept an hour last night.
I thought I would get a birthday present today that matched the birthday presents Matt got this year.
Being pregnant doesn't make this any easier. In fact, Matt and I were discussing how this actually makes it harder, because after this match (and telling the agency we are pregnant), we are officially off the adoption list.
We have a homestudy that is good for 10 more months (oh, how I feel the hours of paperwork were wasted) that we can't use.
What makes us sad is we won't be adopting again for a long time. Or possibly ever because ever my dramatic self, I told Matt I just didn't want to go through this any more. (Sidenote: I have a new hopeful adoptive mom friend who is still battling infertility and she told me going through adoption is harding than going through her infertility (I think both are very difficult in very different ways).)
But, the good news is that God is still good, in our life and in the lives of the baby boy and his mom.
And in other good news, I have 36 amazing looking cinnamon rolls in the freezer waiting to be baked Christmas morning to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Yep, God is still good!

Read original post here
Read Take II here